And I know you’re a great manager – committed to being supportive of your team.
You start with a “let’s see how we can fix this” attitude to simple issues and end with a “let’s see what we can learn from this” conversation when the challenges you face outweigh the fixes you and your team can develop.
But when you are sitting at your desk, before you step into that positive manager mode, do you ever find yourself looking for someone to blame as a first reaction to a challenge? You don’t have to tell anyone if you do. But please know that if you do react first by wondering who might be to blame, you are not alone.
I admit it – I have a tendency to do this. So do many of the wonderful managers that I coach. It’s a knee jerk reaction. For myself, I can hardly believe how quickly it happens. There are times when as soon as issue emerges, my mind will start looking for someone to blame. We ran out of paper towels? Who forgot to put them on the list? I can’t find my keys? Who borrowed my car last and didn’t give them back?
And while the crazy lady in me is scanning my landscape for someone to blame, I am watching that same crazy lady, with my sane brain – mouth agape and wondering “what’s wrong with you?.”
When this happens in the workplace, it slows down productivity, creates unnecessary animosity and runs amok with your day.
I recently found a wonderful video by Brene Brown on this subject. She points out that this blame game is simply the “discharging of discomfort and pain.” It’s a control issue (Ugh, I know!) and it gets in the way of true accountability.
But here’s the good news. Awareness is powerful. The sooner you can become aware in those “blaming” moments and observe that “crazy” person in you, you can make a choice to do something different. That’s power.
Enjoy Brene Brown
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