What is it about turning 40?  

I mean 30 is a bit of a speed bump, but 40 looms large.  After all, 30 is half of 60 – you probably know quite a few spry 60 year olds.  But 40 is half of 80 …. and while there are plenty of 80 year-olds sipping from the Fountain of Youth,  you probably don’t see many of your centenarian neighbors jogging down the street.

And then there is the inevitable self reflection.

We know that our appearance is of little import compared to the value we bring to our family, friends and work.  But, did you ever think your neck would look like a slinky?  Why do our faces hold the imprint of our pillows long after we get out of bed – making us look more like a topographical map than a well-rested beauty?  And where did all that thin skin come from?

Finally, can anyone explain the evolutionary sense in having errant hairs suddenly start sprouting from our upper lip, chin and nose?

I’m sure you guessed, I just turned 40.  Strangely enough, I knew it was coming and yet, I was initially unprepared.  But in retrospect, this is what I have realized:

99% of turning 40 successfully, is simply showing up.

Age spots, grey hair, reading glasses and varicose veins be damned – when that day comes – you’ve got to commit fully.

Dive in, jump off, soak it up and bask in the glow of your 40 year old self.  This is not for wimps, mind you.  But trying to resist just leaves us arguing with reality.  And as you know, reality usually wins.

So what does this all mean to you?

No matter where we are in life, we may be challenged by circumstances.

And inside every challenge, there is an opportunity.  What is the challenge you have in life right now and where is the opportunity?

It may not be a birthday.  It may be a child who is going through a difficult phase, a personal lack of self confidence or a life that is just too busy and chaotic. 

Whatever it is, I promise you that there is an opportunity to be found there.

Here are some opportunities I’ve identified in the world of “40.”

1.  Saying that you no longer care what other people think of you, and MEANING IT.

2.  True acceptance of yourself inside and out (errant hairs and all.)

3.  A commitment to health over beauty.

4.  More time and willingness to grow, learn and NOT have the answers.

5.  A little more chocolate (but when I turn 50 all bets are off!)

So, what is your challenge? 

I know you are already “showing up” like a champ.  So where is the opportunity?   What are the benefits?

I notice that when I focus on words like “benefit” and “opportunity,” I begin to feel a little better.  How about you?

Coach Me Quick Tips for “Showing Up”

1.  Accept the challenges in life as fast as possible.  It’s kind of like jumping into a really cold pool – it only gets worse if you wait or even worse, you get pushed in.

2.  Turn your attention to opportunities and benefits ASAP!  What you focus on, expands – so focus on something that moves your forward.

3.  Listen to the conversation in your head and stop any negative self-talk in its tracks.

4.  Help the people around you to change the way they talk about the challenge too.  It’s really hard to be focused on solutions when all you hear are complaints.

5.  Appreciate yourself daily.

Plucking in L.A.,

Jamee

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