Conversation bubbles are fragments of conversations you are thinking of having in the future and they may be complex like;
“It’s time to talk to my boss about restructuring the department and giving me a raise,“
“It’s way past time to apologize to my sister for my lack of communication”
Perhaps they are simpler like;
“I should have called so and so last week to schedule a lunch – she probably thinks I’m blowing her off,”
“I guess I have to break it to my accountant, I’m taking my business elsewhere.”
Each of these bubbles takes up space in your brain which is expensive real estate – and you’re the one paying the mortgage.
Just like a home gets filled up with “stuff,” a brain can fill with conversation bubbles.
And just as you may be inspired to de-clutter your beautiful living environment, you might consider making space in your amazing brain for creative thinking, problem solving activity, fun experiences and mindfulness.
Easier said than done, right? Often we let those bubbles stick around instead of having the conversations they require for deflation. Sometimes we just stick those bubbles in our closets and drawers waiting for a better time.
And eventually, they start oozing out of the garage and filling up the backyard too.. so why wait? They don’t go away unless the situation dissolves (rarely happens) or they just die of old age (too long to wait) or you have the conversation.
We all have conversation bubbles at different points in life. But, it is our inability to have those conversations and deflate those bubbles that gets in the way of creating the space we need in our brain.
- We don’t know what to say or how to say it.
- We are worried, fearful or anxious that the other person will be upset or angry.
- We feel resentful and are worried we will get upset, and won’t be able to get our point across clearly.
- We are afraid
- We don’t want to be uncomfortable.
And because our brains are so powerful, we manage to hold onto those bubbles by telling ourselves:
- It’s probably better if I don’t say anything at all.
- It’s not going to make a difference if I say something.
- Maybe the situation will go away on it’s own
- I don’t have time to deal with this – someone else should.
- I shouldn’t have to have this conversation – she should know better. Why is he putting me in this untenable position?
- Why should I have to start the conversation?
Here are a few Coach Me Quick steps to help you start popping those bubbles:
- Decide that you are going to have the conversation even though you have no idea what to say. When you decide to have a conversation, your brain jumps in and helps you. Our brains release dopamine to help us find next steps, as soon as a decision is made.
- Once you have made the decision, you can design the logistics of the conversation. When, how and where is the conversation happening. What is your desired outcome? How do you want the other person to be left feeling at the end of the conversation? How do you want to feel?
- What will you do with the added space you create? (That’s your incentive.)
I would love to hear about your conversation bubbles, the ways you inspire yourself to deflate them and how you fill the space afterwards!
Popping bubbles in L.A.,