Allison Marchant via Compfight

When I think about the energy I have wasted over the years being angry, I am sure I must be crazy, and that just makes me mad.

How about you?

Do you ever get angry over “little” things?

Can your children push your buttons?  Of course we expect our children to know how to push our buttons, but did you ever think they would learn the secret to pushing them all at the same time?

I can tell you, that sometimes when my children behave like children and “test the boundaries,” the irritation I feel inside, makes me pretty sure I am nuts.

And when we get frustrated with circumstances that we KNOW don’t really matter, we are just cooking up a big pot of crazy!

And here’s another little spoonful of that nutty stew; Moms don’t want to talk about this.

We may feel ashamed or embarrassed by feeling so frustrated at times.  We like to feel that we are in control.  After all, if we get angry over things that are inconsequential, doesn’t that make us bad mothers?

On top of that, we’ve read every “What To Expect…” and Dr. Spock book that we have access to and we know it’s not helpful to behave with anger when our children act out or the neighbor plays his music too loud or our boss assigns a big project right before a 3 day weekend.

So we don’t over react by yelling or throwing things (ok, on rare occasions we forget to use our inside voice) but we also don’t find any other ways to express those feelings.  We are too busy to waste time on all that.

Instead we may snuggle up to a box of donuts while we think about how we should have reacted in the moment and then berate ourselves for gaining 3 pounds in 48 hours.

In other words, we try to control how we let our anger out.

We stuff it down and cover it up.

But like stuffing a baby’s diapered butt into a tiny pair of jeans, the process is awkward, uncomfortable and in the long run, messy.

So when does all this irritation bubble to the surface?

Well, it often happens when we are tired, trying to do too much, running late, lacking self care or feeling unappreciated.

When does it happen to you?

How can we take care of ourselves before we start cooking up the crazy stew?

How can we take care of ourselves in those moments so we react appropriately but also acknowledge our own feelings?

After all, getting mad is natural, normal and to be expected.  But the anger that shows up as a replacement for taking care of ourselves, may not be a great use of your precious energy.

You deserve better.

Coach Me Quick Tips Letting the “Crazy” go:

1.  I’m so tired!  Are you getting enough rest? 

Seriously.  Mothers roll their eyes at me when I ask them this question.  But it’s so important.  Are there weeks that go by without enough sleep?  How can you shift your priorities around so that you have the sleep your body requires?

2.  I am doing too much!  

If you are chronically too busy, something might have to be put on the back burner for a few months.  I know that at first glance, it appears that nothing can be dropped.  But look closer with an eye towards dropping one thing for a limited amount of time.  You may see something appear as a likely candidate.

3.  I’m running late: 

If you chronically run late, add 10 minutes to every task.  I have found that this simple strategy illuminates the possibility of running late.  Also, have something with you that you can do if you arrive early to an appt. or suddenly have some extra time.  Sometimes, we run late because we don’t want to waste any time.  Having a project at the ready, really helps.

4.  I Need TLC! 

Ask for what you need.  Is it a hug?  Do you need some kind words from a friend or your spouse?  Do you need a massage or a pedicure?  You are the only person who knows what you need.  Please ask.  People want to give you what you need.

5.  I Need Appreciation! 

Share what you do all day.  You can tell people what you have been up to, the hoops you have jumped through for your family and the challenges you have faced, without bragging.  Learn to share and get the appreciation you deserve.

6.  Help, I’m Crazy! 

When this happens, take a breath.  Know that you are not crazy – you simply need to take care of yourself.

When you are cared for, you are able to take care of others – and that is neither Crazy nor Mad – it is a gift. 

Thank you for all you do.

Jamee