You and I are old enough to know what we want and what we do not want.
By now we also know who we are and who we are not.
We definitely have a handle on what makes us happy and what gives us a knot in the stomach.
And, we can identify the people we enjoy spending time with as opposed to those who make us wish we were getting our annual pap smear instead of sitting down for a visit or a cup of coffee.
We know. But do we trust ourselves to make good decisions based on this knowledge?
I recently found myself deliberating about a professional opportunity. Weighing the pros and cons with the exactitude of a size 16 woman on Weight Watchers, hoping to get into a size 10 dress by next week.
At some point, we have to stop weighing and choose. For the woman on Weight Watchers, the choice is to go out and buy a size 16 dress that she feels fabulous in.
For me, it was to realize that if the opportunity didn’t make me shout HELL YES!, it was most likely a HELL NO!
If you are in your 40’s or have joined me in the Fab 50’s, you probably know what you want.
And yet, you may feel the need to deliberate.
Why is this? Are we unsure of our own intuition?
Do we feel that if we decide too quickly, we may be deemed impetuous or flighty?
Perhaps, we are worried that we may regret our decisions?
I hear you out there. You are telling me that we should take our time and weigh our options. I agree. But when does weighing our options become a stressful exercise filled with doubt and lack of clarity?
And what about those times when we think we are unsure because of a deep underlying fear of something new?
You know when you are avoiding something because it scares or challenges you. You can trust yourself during those times too.
Somewhere between “let me think about that,” and “Hell Yes!” or “Hell No,” is the point of no return. The place that we can trust ourselves to choose. And, the wonderful thing about choices, is that there is always another one around the bend.
Make a choice you didn’t like? No worries. You learned some lessons and you have lots of other opportunities to make many more choices.
Some of us preserve our choices like precious jewels we found in grannies closet. Instead, let’s dust them off and utilize them, flaunt them and wear them at the breakfast table.
Here is my proposal: You notice how long it takes you to make a choice, and experiment with speeding up the process. Is it a hell yes, or hell no? It’s your choice.
Coach me Quick Tips for Making Choices:
1. Start with small things. When you are at a restaurant, look at the menu and choose the thing that looks delicious. Baked potato with a side of French fries? Girl after my own heart.
2. When you are making a larger choice, give yourself a time limit.
3. Be proactive about identifying the information you need to make a choice and pledge to make the decision, once you have completed your due diligence, as opposed to continuing the process by adding more tasks to complete before deciding.
4. When faced with a decision, close your eyes and imagine each scenario. What do you see? The answer might be obvious.
5. Remember that most decisions are not really final. Trust yourself to do your best and to have the ability to modify, change, grow and expand to fit what the future brings.
Opting for a big HELL YES, in L.A.,